Choices

Yesterday night, as we were walking home, I asked the BF, “When we graduate, are you leaning more towards continuing our relationship long-distance, or are you leaning more towards ending it?” To which he replied, “To be completely honest, I’m split halfway down the middle.”

For him, long-distance relationships are worth a try only if it has an end date. Both sides (or one side) has to agree to move to be together. And I absolutely agree. There’s no point in continuing a long-distance with no end in sight. Right then, as we were walking up the hill, everything suddenly got really real for me. The BF had his heart set on moving to Hong Kong for some time now. And I had always encouraged him to follow his heart and I would never want to stand in the way of his dreams. But it all hit me last night. I wasn’t mad at him for making this choice. How could I be? He encouraged me to chase my dreams too, being nothing short of extremely supportive the entire way. I was just overwhelmed by a wave of sadness that refused to recede. The thought of not having him around every day, not being to hear his voice, see his face, not being able to hold him, or get a hug just made me really really sad.

It’s a choice we both have to make eventually. In less than 7 weeks, I will no longer be able to call myself a student and hide from adult responsibilities. But it’s such a difficult decision and I’d hate for something this wonderful to end just because life couldn’t wait around for us. But we have no way of knowing what the future holds for us, for me especially, with the complicated US work visa situation. But I do hope that the decision we eventually make will be the right one for both of us, not something we will later come to regret.

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2 thoughts on “Choices

  1. MyTruthMyClarity says:

    Very nice post…so honest. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for five years. Is there an end in sight? Sigh..no. BUT we are both living a life of purpose and the love has kept us connected. Live your lives and trust that if you are meant to be together the love will keep you connected. Best wishes!

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